Monthly Archives: June 2012

Marriage Impossible… Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes To Divorce!!

It’s been five years since Tom Cruise jumped around on Oprah’s couch like a maniac professing his love for Dawson Creek star Katie Holmes… but flash forward only half a decade and the pair are set to divorce!

Katie’s attorney Jonathan Wolfe told People magazine in America:

“This is a personal and private matter for Katie and her family. Katie’s primary concern remains, as it always has been, her daughter’s best interest.”

He was indeed referring to kitten-heel clad Suri, 6, the couple’s only child together.

Tom Cruise Katie Holmes DivorceAlthough no imminent signs were given towards the couple’s split, Holmes, 33,  has not been seen out while Cruise is promoting his new movie Rock of Ages. This was Holmes’ first marriage, while Cruise was previously married to Nicole Kidman – with whom he has two children – and Mimi Rogers.

The couple’s split comes days before Cruise will celebrate his fiftieth birthday… we await further details from both sides.

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Rolling in the Deep (Of My Belly)… ADELE IS PREGNANT!!

Adele Pregnant
Rumour Has It… I’m Pregnant!

Singer Adele is expecting a baby! The 24 year old singing sensation took to her website to confirm the happy news to all her fans:

“I’m delighted to announce that Simon and I are expecting our first child together. I wanted you to hear the news direct from me, obviously we’re over the moon and very excited but please respect our privacy at this precious time.”

Only last month Adele was forced to deny rumours of an engagement to her boyfriend. The English lass has been dating 36-year-old charity entrepreneur Simon Konecki since January 2012 when the pair were first spotted together in public. This will be the pairs first child although Konecki has a 5 year old child from a previous relationship.

I can only imagine that Adele’s songs will take a drastic turn from Heartbreak Avenue to Baby Boulevard following the news. Congratulations to the parents-to-be!!

Bootyliscious BFs

By Shauna Cleary and Jamie Tuohy

A couple of weeks ago I reported that Kim Kardashian’s new relationship with rapper Kanye West was blossoming but recent reports have suggested that their relationship has been causing tension amongst the rapper’s closest friends Jay Z and his superstar wife Beyoncé.

Beyoncé KK MemeIt was alleged that the 30-year-old singer was less than happy about reality star Kim infiltrating their group, which is highly exclusive and shies away from the tabloid circus that Kim Kardashian earns her living from. Apparently, Beyoncé felt that Kim was “trashy” and had earned her fame based on no discernible talent. Although Kim is a massive fan of the “Crazy in Love” singer, Beyoncé’s no nonsense approach to her work means that she values and looks for the same hard-working qualities in her friends and this is one of the reasons why her fans in particular are less than pleased about this new friendship.

However, following a dinner organised by Kanye, it appears that Beyoncé has finally accepted Kim into her tight-knit group – calling into question previous media reports. The pair were spotted supporting their other halves and enjoying each others company at the Birmingham “Watch The Throne” show on Sunday night. Keen to earn the respect of the notoriously private singer, Kim hasn’t been tweeting pictures, revealing any gossip about their encounters or acting like a fan around Beyoncé. However this didn’t stop excited fans in the audience capturing and tweeting pictures of the pair shying away from the cameras at the concert. The pair looked beautiful as ever with Beyoncé sporting a white t-shirt, leather trousers and her hair in her trademark curls. KK also dressed down for the occasion in a plain black dress and a slicked back ponytail. Beyonce and KK Hanging Out

Kim is the queen of self-promotion and is probably the most influential reality star in the world, but she knows that Beyoncé doesn’t view her chosen career with too much admiration and the fans are wary of that. Personally we say that Beyoncé is a big girl and whether or not she wants to be friends with Kim is up to her! The singer’s fans need to take a backseat on this one! We just wonder is the world prepared for this much bootylisciousness in one room!?!

Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis Officially Split!!

Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!! We thought they were unbreakable, sturdy and a match made in heaven but after months of speculation and rumours Johhny Depp and Vanessa Paradis have officially called quits on their 14 year relationship! 😦
Now normally we would be thrilled that such a hot individual is on the market again but this is one relationship that we thought would stand the test of time!
Johnny’s publicist released a statement suggesting that the two remain on good terms:

“They have amicably separated. Please respect their privacy and, more importantly, the privacy of their children.”

The couple have two children together: Lily-Rose, 13, and Jack, 9. Speculation had been mounting for some time as to the state of their relationship after the two drifted into separately lives whilst each living in France and Los Angeles. We await further details to be released, but in the meantime we mourn the death of yet another celeb relationship.

Johnny Depp/ Vanessa PARADIS

Summer 2012: The Return of the T.V Bums Part 1

With college being finito, we all now have more free time to watch T.V, films and in general return to our lives as bums in society. But before we can settle into our unproductive and inactive lives we need to know what will satisfy our depreciating concentration levels.

The Avengers Firstly if you like Thor, Captain America, The Hulk, Iron Man or other super hot superheroes in general then The Avengers Assemble is definitely a movie that you should not miss. Hollywood –clearly with women across the globe in mind – have brought together all of these superheroes for what is being called “the film of the century.” Even if you are interested in seeing the action of the film, the eye-candy will most definitely please if all else fails. Even the men can marvel at the beauty of Scarlett Johansson. I cannot put into words how jealous I am of her being one of the ONLY female leads in the film as the Black Widow. Chris Evans NOM.

The Hunger Games is also an amazing film that you should watch if you get the chance. Basically the plot is that a selected group of teens must kill each other in a twisted sort of game until one remains. And there is a love story in there too amid all the killings and violence. Ah bless. I recently had a type of hunger games in my house too when there was only one Easter egg left between five children. Scary times.

Rihanna Battleship Another violent/sciencey/action film that was recently released was Battleship. I’m not gonna lie, I haven’t seen it but I do know that Princess RiRi herself is in it. How she managed that, I have no idea. The film cost $200 MILLION to make so I suppose a chunk of that went to hiring her. Our very own Liam Neeson makes an appearance as well as new heartthrob on my list Taylor Kitsch, helloooo. So, although I haven’t seen it, I did see the trailer and was impressed. It features Rihanna holding a massive, humongous gun/cannon thing and the only line she says is…. “Boom.” Given the props at her disposal, if I was the director I would probably use something along the lines of “CHRIS BROWN COME AT ME BRO!” But that’s just me.

For all the oldies, Titanic 3D has been released so we can see the little steam droplets on the carriage that Rose and Jack, ahem, you know in. James Cameron spent 60 weeks and $18 million creating the remake. If you liked his masterpiece that was Avatar then you will not want to miss this experience. Katy Perry also has a new 3D movie coming out soon called quite shockingly “Katy Perry: Part of Me in 3D.” I wonder what genius came up with that great name. Why it’s in 3D I don’t know. Probably for all the haters who want to be able to see if celebrities really have such good skin and whatnot. I’m sure though that any footage including Russell Brand has since been edited out. We shall wait with abated breath to see.

Zac Efron Condom Drop
Maaa Badddd

Poor, gorgeous, hunky Zac Efron recently had a bit of an awky momo at the premiere of his movie “Dr Seuss’ The Lorax.” Whilst walking the red carpet a condom fell out of his pocket :o. Shock horror for his squeaky clean High School Musical fans. He laughed off the incident with one interviewer suggesting he was promoting safe sex. Yeah, to the five/six year old target audience. Anyway the brand was apparently Trojan – 15% larger than the average brand! Whoa!!! Suddenly got a little hot in here.

These movies should keep you occupied for at least a week. As for me, I have a million episodes of Glee, Grey’s Anatomy and Graham Norton to catch up on. How weird it will be to be able to converse with people about recent televised programming. Happy being a waster! Enjoy!

We’re Getting Hitched Ya’ll

Miley Cyrus Engagement Ring Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth are engaged!! The bride to be confirmed the news to People magazine stating “I’m so happy to be engaged and look forward to a life of happiness with Liam.” Cyrus, 19 has been dating the Hunger Games star since they met on the set of movie The Last Song in 2009. 22 year old Liam got down on one knee with a 3.5 carat diamond ring by jeweller Neil Lane on May 31st and surprisingly enough Cyrus said yes!

Although the pair split briefly during their three year relationship, they reunited and have been going strong ever since. Actress Kelly Preston – who played Miley’s mother in the 2009 movie- stated that Miley was like a “second daughter” and that “there’s no one more perfect for her!” Real life mom Tish tweeted “Wow! All of the LOVE pouring out for Miley and Liam is incredible! So happy for my precious baby girl and the love of her life!”Father Billy Ray jumped on the tweet wagon saying “All I ever hoped for as a Daddy was to see my kids reach their dreams…To find happiness…peace of mind …and someday know… true love.” Ah bless.

Miley Cyrus Drastic Weight LossJust a couple of weeks back Cyrus was forced to deny that she had an eating disorder following pictures of her looking worryingly thin surfaced. Speaking toBravo magazine the “Party in the USA” singer stated

“I love that my fans think about me. But I’m healthier than ever! I’m neither anorexic nor do I have psychological problems or cut myself. Really, I’m as fit as a fiddle and in a great mood! I learned that it is irrelevant what I do – somebody will take offense anyway. If I lose a few pounds because I changed my diet, I’m anorexic. When I used to have a few pounds more, I was called fat. If I have sex, I’m a slut. If I don’t have sex, I’m a loser. What’s up with that? Therefore I live my life how I want – and I am happy with it. If this bothers somebody, they have to cope with that themselves.

Liam is happy because I feel better now than before. He supported me to change my diet. My doctor diagnosed me with a Gluten intolerance. It is a protein that some people can’t digest. [Now I eat] primarily fish, chicken, salad and fruits – and some red meat from time to time. But not fried, only cooked or grilled. And I don’t eat white bread, only gluten-free wholewheat bread.”

You go gurrl!!

Trace Cyrus/Brenda Song Break Up
But as one Cyrus kid gets engaged there is sad news for another. Miley’s brother Trace has announced that he has ended his nine month engagement and whole relationship with Disney star Brenda Song. The couple got engaged last October but confessed that they did in fact break up a couple of months ago. Trace confessed that there is no hard feelings between the pair commenting

“I wish Brenda the best and much success in the future. I hope everyone can respect our privacy about this situation.”

Here’s to hoping that Miley won’t end up with the same Achey Breaky Heart…

Attack of the Biebster…

It only seems like yesterday that he was sliding around bowling alleys serenading young girls with chorus’ of “Baby, baby, baby ohhh,” but it appears that testosterone has finally kicked in as Justin Bieber has officially been involved in his first physical altercation with a paparazzo!!

Justin Bieber Photographer Scuffle
The “Boyfriend” singer, 18, was involved in a scuffle with Jose Sarros as he left a shopping mall in Calabasas in late May with girlfriend Selena Gomez, 19. Although no real details have been released, sources have revealed that the Biebster became agitated when the photographer blocked his car as he tried to leave with his beour. Sarros, complained of upper abdominal pains following the run in with JB.
The photographer called 911 and was taken to a local hospital by ambulance. By the time the police arrived, both Bieber and Gomez had left the scene and although no official report has been released, police are said to have stated that there were “no visible injuries” to the man.

Personally, I can’t help but feel sorry for the dude. I mean, first some keraazy woman claims she was impregnated by the Biebs backstage at his tour, and now some barmy paparazzo is claiming that he was assaulted by him which in fairness is highly unlikely. My granny would probably do more harm to him. We await with abated breath as to whether Justin could possibly face time in PRISON! Somehow I think it could be more disturbing than Lady Gaga’s “Telephone” video…

Births, Break-ups and Bathtubs…

Alas the summer is upon us. Exams are over, stress levels have dissipated and lectures and tutorials are all but a distant memory. Through the intense “study” and “hard work” that was done throughout the college term (cough), one can only be forgiven for failing to keep up-to-date with all the celebrity socialising and scandals that have taken place over the past six months. But never fear my friends as I feel it is within my duty to keep you informed about the latest and most important news in the world of Celebland. So having read this lil’ summary of the top events of the year so far, you’ll be giving Mr. Perez Hilton himself a run for his money.

I hate to start the countdown on a cheesy and depressing pun but Houston, we have a problem. On the 11th February, the world of celebrities and average peasants alike waved goodbye to one the most talented singing sensations on the planet. Whitney Houston was found in the bath of her hotel room on the eve of The Grammy Awards and later pronounced dead at the scene. The troubled singer’s autopsy revealed that the cause of death was drowning, effects of heart disease and cocaine use. For one night only the world joined to commemorate the life of an exceptional talent, and naturally enough a Glee tribute episode has since been aired.  Whitney Houston, R.I.P. We will always love you. (One of my last puns I swear.)

Beyoncé Jay Z Baby But as they say with a death comes new life… or some saying along those lines. In early February, the music industry’s biggest couple brought a little (Blue) ray of hope into their lives. Yes in nothing but true luxury, Beyoncé welcomed Blue Ivy Carter into a life which will undoubtedly be filled with bling, Barbies and Bentleys. In a touching tribute to his daughter, Jay-Z released his single “Glory” which features little Blue Ivy towards the end. Jay-Z raps “I paint the sky Blue/ My greatest creation was you.” Er, maybe someone should tell Jay-Z to take of his shades. He will realise that the sky is already blue… Nonetheless we understand what he means… kind of. Mrs. B herself was only recently named World’s Most Beautiful Woman by People Magazine. Obviously she had much greater competition than FHM’s winner Tulisa Contostavlos. What has become of the world we do not know…

Just as birth and death in Celebland go hand in hand, surprisingly enough so does marriage and divorce. Unfortunately for this next star, she covered them both this year. Who else could it be only Kim Kardashian? If you don’t know who she is, she is the girl that Georgia Salpa looks like. And if you don’t know who Georgia Salpa is then you’re a failure to men across the nation. Poor aul’ Kim K’s marriage to NBA star Kris Humphries lasted a meagre 72 days. Her marriage was supposed to be a rival to Kate and William’s, but it turned out to be more like Charles and Diana’s minus the philandering, royalty and world famous car crash… well just the divorce part really. But that was back in December and eight months in their money and glamour filled world is about a month in the life of plebs like us. So her new man is none other than Kanye “Imma let you finish” West. Seriously Kim Kim, did you see the MTV Music Awards before?? Doesn’t seem like a very nice person. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Katy Perry Divorce Another divorce that we were sad to see was that of Katy Perry and Russell Brand. The two famous crazies called quits on their 14 month marriage and officially divorced in February. Now, we could be all sad about this but since the split Katy has banged out some whopper angry choons such as: “This is the part of me that you’re never gonna ever take away from me, no/ This is the part of me that you’re never gonna ever take away from me, no/Throw your sticks and stones/ Throw your bombs and your blows/ But you’re not gonna break my soul/ This is the part of me that you’re never gonna ever take away from me, no,” *whilst violently finger wagging and screaming into hairbrush. You go guurll!

Nicki Minaj Babrz Another famous popstar who has been giving it her all in the music of late is Nicki Minaj. I will admit that yes, she is a legend, but I am convinced if you take the word b*tch and mothaf*cka out of her vocabulary her songs will be left lyric-less. If one brightly coloured, eyelash fluttering woman wasn’t enough, Nicki has created a nation of “Barbz.” Yes. A NATION OF BARBZ, i.e. a nation of mini Nicki Minajs’. If you can think of all of Lady Gaga’s little “monsters,” apply the Barbz as an evil, corruptive and evil group of Barbies from Toy Story to that concept, then you are slightly along the right path. If you ask me, celebs are taking the world domination idea waaay too far these days. However I am currently in the process of creating my own “Shaniques/Shaunzz” nation. Anyone interested feel free to get in contact (please?)

So as if Barbz, little monsters and Beliebers weren’t enough, a new force is slowly but surely invading the minds of teenage girls across the globe… Directioners. According to Urban Dictionary “A Directioner is someone who is a dedicated fan for life of a band called One Direction. A Directioner knows more about the One Direction boys then they know about themselves.” Niall and co. feel free to call the police on 911 anytime. It seems like only a year ago they were baby faced cutie pies on The X Factor. Just five boys with a dream… a dream of getting older women it seems. First Zayn Malik hooked up with mum of two Rebecca Ferguson and then Harry Styles works the charm on 32 year old Caroline Flack. It seems that all women who are in any way connected with the One Direction boys immediately receive death threats on Twitter and Facebook. So once again lads, I will stress it, 911.

So there you have it. You are now up to a socially acceptable level of celebrity entertainment news. If the past six months have been anything to go by, then this summer is going be one keraazy rollercoaster through the triumphs and turmoils of the people who make our lives seem like shit. Oh well, bring it on celebrities. We await your next move.