Summer 2012: The Return of the T.V Bums Part 1

With college being finito, we all now have more free time to watch T.V, films and in general return to our lives as bums in society. But before we can settle into our unproductive and inactive lives we need to know what will satisfy our depreciating concentration levels.

The Avengers Firstly if you like Thor, Captain America, The Hulk, Iron Man or other super hot superheroes in general then The Avengers Assemble is definitely a movie that you should not miss. Hollywood –clearly with women across the globe in mind – have brought together all of these superheroes for what is being called “the film of the century.” Even if you are interested in seeing the action of the film, the eye-candy will most definitely please if all else fails. Even the men can marvel at the beauty of Scarlett Johansson. I cannot put into words how jealous I am of her being one of the ONLY female leads in the film as the Black Widow. Chris Evans NOM.

The Hunger Games is also an amazing film that you should watch if you get the chance. Basically the plot is that a selected group of teens must kill each other in a twisted sort of game until one remains. And there is a love story in there too amid all the killings and violence. Ah bless. I recently had a type of hunger games in my house too when there was only one Easter egg left between five children. Scary times.

Rihanna Battleship Another violent/sciencey/action film that was recently released was Battleship. I’m not gonna lie, I haven’t seen it but I do know that Princess RiRi herself is in it. How she managed that, I have no idea. The film cost $200 MILLION to make so I suppose a chunk of that went to hiring her. Our very own Liam Neeson makes an appearance as well as new heartthrob on my list Taylor Kitsch, helloooo. So, although I haven’t seen it, I did see the trailer and was impressed. It features Rihanna holding a massive, humongous gun/cannon thing and the only line she says is…. “Boom.” Given the props at her disposal, if I was the director I would probably use something along the lines of “CHRIS BROWN COME AT ME BRO!” But that’s just me.

For all the oldies, Titanic 3D has been released so we can see the little steam droplets on the carriage that Rose and Jack, ahem, you know in. James Cameron spent 60 weeks and $18 million creating the remake. If you liked his masterpiece that was Avatar then you will not want to miss this experience. Katy Perry also has a new 3D movie coming out soon called quite shockingly “Katy Perry: Part of Me in 3D.” I wonder what genius came up with that great name. Why it’s in 3D I don’t know. Probably for all the haters who want to be able to see if celebrities really have such good skin and whatnot. I’m sure though that any footage including Russell Brand has since been edited out. We shall wait with abated breath to see.

Zac Efron Condom Drop
Maaa Badddd

Poor, gorgeous, hunky Zac Efron recently had a bit of an awky momo at the premiere of his movie “Dr Seuss’ The Lorax.” Whilst walking the red carpet a condom fell out of his pocket :o. Shock horror for his squeaky clean High School Musical fans. He laughed off the incident with one interviewer suggesting he was promoting safe sex. Yeah, to the five/six year old target audience. Anyway the brand was apparently Trojan – 15% larger than the average brand! Whoa!!! Suddenly got a little hot in here.

These movies should keep you occupied for at least a week. As for me, I have a million episodes of Glee, Grey’s Anatomy and Graham Norton to catch up on. How weird it will be to be able to converse with people about recent televised programming. Happy being a waster! Enjoy!


One thought on “Summer 2012: The Return of the T.V Bums Part 1

  1. Awsome article and straight to the point. I don’t know if this is truly the best place to ask but do you people have any thoughts on where to hire some professional writers? Thanks 🙂

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