So your essay’s late. God forbid you never meant it to happen but with one too many parties, lie-ins and in general a high level of personal laziness, you just never really got around to it. You may find yourself running out of excuses, but never fear, as I have constructed a list of fresh explanations to ensure you get that extra extension you’ve been hoping for!
- Your cat ate your work. Note: No one ever believes a dog would eat it. They’re way too loyal.
- You’re cat died as he choked on your essay due to it’s general level of awesomeness.
- Your Granny died. I know these things are way to serious to joke about, but hey, failing your year is no joke either. Remember, unless your parents have gone through multiple divorces you can only use this excuse twice… so use it wisely. Sometimes Grin Gran needs to take one for the team.
- You suffered a sudden mystery illness…sudden because you only contracted it after your tenth Sambuca.
- The English Department never sent you the essay titles… Hey, I’d believe it.
- Essay writing is a collection of many different writing styles… you were just fashionably late.
- The nerd you paid to do it couldn’t type fast enough.
- The prick in your year took all the good library books… there’s always one.
- You couldn’t find Microsoft Word on your new Trinity Wanker MacBook.
- Aand finally…. You couldn’t give a shite about the shite they make you read. Amen.
If these bad boys don’t get you an extension, I don’t know what will…